When Your Ex Blocks You After a Breakup: What KakaoTalk Profile Blocking and Social Media Unfollowing Really Mean
DatingPsychology - When Your Ex Blocks You After a Breakup: What KakaoTalk Profile Blocking and Social Media Unfollowing Really Mean
You break up.
A few days later, you open the messenger
almost automatically.
Their profile photo is gone.
You check Instagram.
They no longer follow you.
Perhaps they removed you from their
followers as well.
Suddenly, the breakup feels different.
You already knew the relationship had
ended, but being blocked creates another kind of finality.
Then the questions begin.
"Why did they need to block me?"
"Do they hate me that much?"
"Does blocking mean they still have
feelings?"
"Are they trying to get a reaction
from me?"
"Did they meet someone new?"
And sometimes the most tempting
interpretation appears:
"If they truly didn't care anymore,
wouldn't they just leave me there? Maybe blocking me means they still
care."
That interpretation can be comforting.
It can also keep someone psychologically
attached to an answer they cannot actually verify.
Blocking is observable behavior.
The motive behind blocking is not directly
observable.
That distinction is essential.
Someone can block an ex because seeing them
is emotionally painful.
Someone else may do it because they are
angry.
Another person may want a clean boundary.
Someone may be trying to stop themselves
from checking an ex's profile.
Another may simply consider continued
digital connection unnecessary once the relationship ends.
And yes, in some cases blocking can be
intended to provoke a reaction or communicate hostility.
The same digital behavior can therefore
emerge from very different psychological states.
This is why the most useful question after
being blocked is not:
"What secret message are they sending
me?"
It is:
"What does this behavior reliably tell
me right now?"
At minimum, it tells you that some form of
digital distance has been established.
That may be frustratingly less dramatic
than the explanations people want.
But psychologically, respecting the
observable boundary is usually more useful than trying to reverse-engineer an
ex-partner's private emotional state.
1. Why Being Blocked Can Hurt Even After
the Relationship Has Already Ended
A. A breakup and a digital cutoff are
psychologically different events
1) The relationship can end while
digital access remains
Modern relationships leave behind an
enormous digital infrastructure.
- Profile photos
- Status messages
- Chat histories
- Instagram posts
- Stories
- Followers
- Tagged photographs
- Shared playlists
- Location memories
- Old comments and likes
In previous generations, ending a
relationship could create considerable physical distance.
Today, someone can leave your life while
remaining visible on your phone every day.
That creates an unusual form of
post-breakup proximity.
2) Blocking removes access, not merely
contact
Before being blocked, you may not actually
message your ex.
But you know that you could.
You may still be able to see whether their
profile changed.
You can see whether they uploaded
something.
You can search their account.
Once access disappears, something
psychologically important changes.
A possibility has been removed.
For some people, that feels like a second
breakup.
B. Rejection can feel more concrete when
it becomes visible on a screen
1) Breakups often contain ambiguity
Even after someone says:
"We should break up."
the mind can continue negotiating.
Maybe they need time.
Maybe they will regret it.
Maybe we will talk again.
Maybe this is temporary.
Digital access can quietly preserve these
possibilities.
2) A block can make separation feel more
definite
Suddenly, the mind encounters a visible
barrier.
The profile cannot be accessed.
The account is no longer connected.
The former partner has actively changed
something.
That action can feel like renewed rejection
even when the breakup itself already communicated separation.
This helps explain why someone who was
relatively composed after a breakup can become intensely upset after
discovering that they were blocked.
2. Why the Mind Becomes Obsessed With
Finding the "Real Meaning" of the Block
A. Human beings dislike unresolved
explanations
1) Uncertainty encourages mental
searching
Suppose your ex explicitly says:
"I'm blocking you because seeing your
updates makes it harder for me to move on."
You may dislike the decision, but you have
an explanation.
Now compare that with discovering the block
without any explanation.
Immediately, multiple possibilities appear.
"Are they angry?"
"Did someone tell them to do it?"
"Are they dating someone?"
"Are they trying to forget me?"
"Are they trying to make me chase
them?"
The lack of an answer encourages
rumination.
2) The mind tries to convert uncertainty
into a story
Unfortunately, emotional certainty is not
the same as factual accuracy.
You may settle on:
"They blocked me because they still
love me."
Another person may conclude:
"They blocked me because they despise
me."
Both explanations can feel convincing.
Neither can be established from blocking
alone.
B. Rejection sensitivity can intensify
interpretation
1) People differ in how strongly they
detect signs of rejection
Someone particularly sensitive to
interpersonal rejection may experience an unfollow as much more than a platform
setting.
It can become:
"I have been erased."
"I meant nothing."
"They want me completely gone."
The digital action becomes evidence for a
much larger conclusion about personal worth.
2) The behavior does not justify every
conclusion attached to it
Being blocked can certainly be painful.
But:
"They blocked my account."
is not logically identical to:
"I was worthless to them."
Similarly:
"They unfollowed me."
does not automatically mean:
"Our entire relationship was
fake."
The emotional mind often moves from an
observable event to a global conclusion very quickly.
Separating those two levels can prevent
unnecessary suffering.
3. Does Blocking Mean Your Ex Still Has
Feelings?
A. Sometimes emotional activation can
contribute to blocking
1) Seeing an ex can be emotionally
difficult
Imagine trying to recover from a breakup
while repeatedly seeing your former partner's face.
They post dinner with friends.
They upload a vacation photo.
They look happy.
You wonder who took the picture.
You examine who liked it.
You notice a new follower.
Every update can reactivate the attachment
system.
For someone struggling with this cycle,
blocking or unfollowing can be a practical way to reduce exposure.
2) A person can still have feelings and
choose distance
This is important.
Emotional attachment and behavioral contact
are not the same thing.
Someone can miss an ex and still decide:
"Seeing them is making recovery
harder."
In that situation, blocking does not prove
indifference.
But it also does not prove an intention to
reconcile.
Those are completely different conclusions.
B. Blocking can also happen without
romantic attachment
1) Some people prefer clean boundaries
after relationships end
For them, the rule is simple.
If the romantic relationship is over,
continuous access to each other's daily lives is unnecessary.
They may unfollow previous partners
consistently, regardless of how emotionally intense the breakup was.
2) Therefore, "They blocked me, so
they must still love me" is unreliable
This is one of the most common mistakes in
breakup interpretation.
Strong feelings can lead to blocking.
But so can:
- Anger
- Boundary setting
- Habit
- A desire for privacy
- Conflict avoidance
- Emotional recovery
- A new relationship
- A wish to prevent further contact
- Simple preference for a clean separation
One behavior cannot identify which motive
is present without additional evidence.
4. Blocking, Unfollowing, Removing
Followers, and Hiding Stories Are Not Exactly the Same
A. Digital boundaries exist on a
spectrum
1) Unfollowing primarily reduces
incoming exposure
Someone may unfollow because they do not
want your posts appearing automatically.
This can reduce unexpected emotional
triggers without completely preventing access.
2) Removing a follower changes your
access to them
If an account is private and your ex
removes you as a follower, the boundary becomes stronger.
They are not only controlling what they
see.
They are also limiting what you can see.
3) Blocking creates the strongest
ordinary platform boundary
Blocking typically communicates a stronger
desire for separation from digital contact or visibility.
But again, intensity of boundary does not
automatically reveal intensity of love or hatred.
A strong boundary tells us most reliably
that a strong boundary has been chosen.
B. Context matters more than internet
folklore
1) The same block can mean different
things after different breakups
Consider two cases.
In the first, one partner repeatedly
contacts the other after being asked to stop.
The ex eventually blocks them.
The function of the block is relatively
clear:
It prevents unwanted contact.
In another case, two people end
respectfully.
Neither contacts the other.
A week later, one person unfollows because
seeing the other's daily life is painful.
The behavior looks similar from the
outside.
The relational context is completely
different.
2) Interpretation should begin with what
happened before the block
Ask:
Was there repeated contact after the
breakup?
Was there conflict?
Did either person request space?
Was social media monitoring already causing
problems?
Was the breakup mutual or one-sided?
Did the ex usually remove previous
partners?
Did the digital cutoff happen immediately
or after renewed contact?
Context provides information that the block
itself cannot.
5. Why Someone May Block You Immediately
After the Breakup
A. Immediate blocking can function as
stimulus control
1) Removing cues can reduce repeated
emotional activation
After a breakup, seemingly minor digital
cues can trigger strong reactions.
A profile photograph.
An online status.
A new post.
A change in biography.
Instead of repeatedly relying on willpower
not to look, a person may remove the cue altogether.
Psychologically, this can function like
changing the environment to make an unwanted behavior less likely.
2) Sometimes people block themselves
from checking you
This is easy to overlook.
When someone blocks an ex, we naturally
think:
"They don't want me looking at
them."
But sometimes the stronger motive is:
"I don't want to keep looking at
them."
The block can therefore be directed as much
toward controlling one's own behavior as controlling the other person's access.
B. Immediate blocking can also occur
during anger
1) Emotional arousal can produce abrupt
boundary decisions
A painful breakup can involve anger,
humiliation, betrayal, jealousy, or disappointment.
Someone may block immediately because they
do not want further conversation.
In some cases, the action may be impulsive.
2) An angry block still does not provide
a reliable forecast
People often ask:
"If they blocked me while angry, will
they unblock me?"
There is no dependable psychological rule.
Some people reverse impulsive decisions.
Others maintain them.
Trying to predict future contact from the
existence of a block can easily turn into another form of waiting.
6. Why an Ex May Block You Weeks or
Months Later
A. Delayed blocking can follow renewed
emotional activation
1) A new post may unexpectedly trigger
old feelings
Perhaps the ex originally believed
continued social media connection would be fine.
Then they see you traveling.
Or dating.
Or looking unusually happy.
Or posting something that reminds them of
the relationship.
They realize the connection is interfering
with their emotional state.
They remove it.
2) Delayed blocking does not
automatically mean jealousy
Jealousy is one possibility.
So are sadness, irritation, discomfort, a
desire for privacy, a new boundary, or simply deciding that continued
connection serves no purpose.
Timing can provide context.
It cannot read the person's mind.
B. New life circumstances can change
digital boundaries
1) People sometimes reorganize social
connections as they move forward
Months after a breakup, someone may decide
to remove old romantic connections.
This can happen when entering another
relationship.
It can also happen without one.
They may simply want clearer separation
between past and present.
2) Avoid turning every change into
evidence of a new partner
When someone is blocked months later, one
of the first thoughts is often:
"They must be seeing someone."
Possibly.
But the block itself cannot establish that.
Searching for evidence may create more
psychological cost than the answer is worth.
7. The Paradox: When Being Blocked Makes
You Think About Your Ex Even More
A. Restricted access can increase desire
to check
1) Psychological reactance can make
unavailable information feel more valuable
Before the block, you might have checked
your ex's account once a day.
After the block, suddenly you desperately
want to know what is there.
The content did not necessarily become more
important.
Access became restricted.
Restrictions can increase attention toward
what is no longer freely available.
2) Curiosity can disguise itself as a
need for closure
You tell yourself:
"I just need to know why."
Then:
"I just want to see whether they're
okay."
Then:
"I only want to check whether there's
someone new."
But every answer can generate another
question.
Who is that person?
Why did they like that post?
Why did the profile photo change?
Why did they post that song?
Instead of producing closure, surveillance
often creates more material for interpretation.
B. The ex can disappear from your screen
while becoming larger in your mind
1) Digital absence can produce mental
presence
This is one of the strangest features of
post-breakup blocking.
You can no longer see the person.
Yet you think about them more.
Your mind fills the informational vacuum
with imagined possibilities.
2) This is why respecting the block can
also protect your own recovery
The immediate urge is often to restore
access.
But reduced exposure may eventually allow
the attachment system to become less frequently activated.
The first stage can feel worse precisely
because the old checking routine has been interrupted.
That discomfort does not necessarily mean
checking again would be psychologically helpful.
8. Why Trying to Bypass the Block
Usually Makes Breakup Recovery Harder
A. The urge to check is understandable,
but relief is usually temporary
1) Using a friend's account can reduce
uncertainty for a few minutes
After discovering that you have been
blocked, curiosity can become intense.
You may think:
"I'll only check once."
So you borrow a friend's phone.
You search through another account.
Perhaps you create a secondary account.
You finally see the profile.
For a moment, the uncertainty decreases.
But then new questions appear.
"Why did they upload that photo?"
"Who took it?"
"Why are they suddenly following this
person?"
"Why do they look so happy?"
The original uncertainty has not
disappeared.
It has simply changed form.
2) Checking can reinforce the urge to
check again
This is important from a behavioral
perspective.
You feel anxious.
You check.
The anxiety temporarily decreases.
The next time uncertainty appears, your
brain remembers that checking produced relief.
So you check again.
A loop can develop:
Uncertainty → anxiety → checking →
temporary relief → new uncertainty → checking again.
The behavior survives because it
occasionally gives you exactly the information you were hoping to find.
That unpredictability can make monitoring
particularly difficult to stop.
B. Bypassing a clear boundary can create
additional problems
1) A block should generally be treated
as a request for digital distance
Whatever the private emotional motive may
be, the observable behavior establishes a boundary.
Trying to contact the person through:
- Another account
- A friend's account
- Another messenger
- Email
- Mutual friends
- A new phone number
can transform an emotionally painful
breakup into a boundary conflict.
2) Closure does not require unrestricted
access to another person
This can be difficult to accept.
We often imagine closure as receiving one
final perfect explanation.
But the former partner may not provide one.
Even if they do, the explanation may not
remove the pain.
At some point, recovery requires tolerating
the fact that not every question will receive a satisfying answer.
9. Is Blocking a Manipulation Tactic?
A. Sometimes blocking can be used
strategically
1) Some people block and unblock
repeatedly to provoke a reaction
A pattern may look like this:
They block you after an argument.
A few days later, they unblock you.
They post something conspicuous.
You respond.
Another conflict occurs.
They block you again.
In this situation, blocking may become part
of an unstable communication pattern.
2) The repeated pattern matters more
than a single block
A single block after a breakup does not
provide enough evidence to label someone manipulative.
Repeated blocking and unblocking combined
with attempts to provoke jealousy, punish silence, or control contact deserves
a different interpretation.
Again, context matters.
B. Do not diagnose personality disorders
from social media behavior
1) Blocking does not prove narcissism or
avoidant attachment
Online breakup advice often uses
psychological labels too casually.
"An avoidant always blocks."
"A narcissist blocks you to control
you."
Neither statement is a reliable diagnostic
rule.
People with many different personalities
and attachment patterns can block former partners.
2) Psychological concepts should explain
patterns, not become fortune-telling tools
Attachment theory can help us understand
differences in how people respond to closeness, separation, and emotional
threat.
It cannot tell us exactly why a particular
individual pressed a block button on a particular evening.
That requires information we usually do not
have.
10. What KakaoTalk Profile Blocking Can
Mean After a Breakup
A. Messenger profiles can maintain a
subtle sense of connection
1) A profile can become a miniature
window into an ex's life
You may notice:
A new profile photograph.
A changed background image.
A different status message.
A song.
Even without speaking, these small updates
can feel like continued contact.
2) This encourages interpretation
After a breakup, neutral updates can
acquire exaggerated meaning.
"They changed their profile photo
right after our breakup."
"That song must be about me."
"They removed the picture I
took."
"Why did they suddenly change the
background?"
The problem is that the observer knows the
relationship history and naturally interprets ambiguous information through
that lens.
But the profile update may have nothing to
do with the former partner.
B. Losing access to the profile can feel
like being removed from someone's world
1) The emotional pain can exceed the
practical importance of the profile
Objectively, not seeing someone's profile
photograph is a small digital change.
Subjectively, it may symbolize:
"I no longer have access to this
person's life."
That symbolic meaning explains why profile
restrictions can feel surprisingly severe.
2) The safest interpretation is
behavioral
Instead of asking:
"Does hiding the profile mean they
hate me?"
A more grounded interpretation is:
"They have chosen to reduce my access
to their digital presence."
Anything beyond that requires additional
evidence.
11. What an Instagram or Other Social
Media Unfollow Can Mean
A. Unfollowing often regulates exposure
1) Social feeds create involuntary
reminders
Even if you promise yourself not to search
for your ex, their post may simply appear.
A story appears at the top of the screen.
A mutual friend reposts something.
The algorithm recommends their account.
This makes recovery difficult for some
people because reminders arrive without deliberate searching.
2) Unfollowing can reduce those triggers
Someone may decide:
"I don't want to see this every
day."
This does not tell us whether they feel
love, anger, sadness, or indifference.
It tells us that continued exposure is
unwanted or unnecessary.
B. Removing you as a follower can
communicate a stronger privacy boundary
1) The person may not want continued
observation
An ex may be comfortable not seeing your
life while also deciding they do not want you watching theirs.
That can lead to removing a follower or
restricting access.
2) Privacy after a breakup is not
necessarily hostility
Romantic relationships often involve
unusually high access to another person's life.
After separation, that level of access may
no longer feel appropriate.
Re-establishing privacy can therefore be
part of redefining the relationship rather than an attempt to insult the former
partner.
12. What If Your Ex Unblocks You?
A. Unblocking alone is also ambiguous
1) Do not treat access as communication
One day, you search the account and
suddenly it appears again.
Immediately, hope rises.
"They want me to contact them."
But unblocking can have many explanations.
The person may no longer feel emotionally
affected.
They may have changed privacy settings.
They may no longer see the block as
necessary.
They may be curious.
They may be open to contact.
The button itself does not tell you which.
2) Actual communication provides
stronger evidence than platform settings
If someone wants to reconcile, the
meaningful evidence is not simply that a profile became visible.
It is communication and behavior.
Do they contact you?
Do they acknowledge what happened?
Do they clearly express what they want?
Do they take responsibility for previous
problems?
Do they propose something concrete?
These behaviors provide much stronger
information than whether an account is technically accessible.
B. Avoid rebuilding hope around
micro-signals
1) Post-breakup attention can become
extremely sensitive
You notice:
They watched your story.
They unblocked you.
They liked an old photograph.
They followed you again.
They changed their profile song.
Each event can produce an emotional spike.
2) Micro-signals can keep you in
psychological suspension
Instead of living after the breakup, you
begin waiting for the next clue.
The relationship is technically over.
Psychologically, however, you remain in a
state of interpretation.
That can prevent emotional separation.
13. Attachment Theory and Digital
Separation
A. Anxious attachment tendencies can
make uncertainty especially difficult
1) Separation can activate
proximity-seeking
When an important attachment figure becomes
unavailable, some people feel a strong urge to restore connection.
After a breakup, this may appear as:
Repeated messaging.
Checking online status.
Watching stories.
Searching profiles.
Asking mutual friends.
Trying to understand every digital change.
These behaviors can function as attempts to
restore psychological proximity.
2) Blocking can intensify activation at
first
If access suddenly disappears, the urge to
reconnect may temporarily become stronger.
This does not necessarily mean the
relationship should be restored.
It may reflect an attachment system
reacting to sudden unavailability.
Understanding that distinction can be
surprisingly helpful.
B. Avoidant tendencies do not provide a
simple explanation either
1) Distance can be one method of
emotional regulation
Some people respond to relational distress
by reducing contact and suppressing emotionally activating cues.
A digital cutoff may fit that pattern.
2) But you cannot infer attachment style
from a block
This point deserves repetition because
internet psychology often overreaches here.
One behavior is not enough to determine a
person's attachment pattern.
Attachment-related tendencies are broader
patterns involving intimacy, dependence, emotional availability, reassurance,
conflict, and separation across relationships.
A social media setting is only one
behavior.
14. The Psychological Difference Between
Missing Someone and Wanting Them Back
A. A person can miss you and still
believe the breakup was necessary
1) Emotional attachment does not
disappear instantly
A breakup can end a relationship before
affection, habit, attraction, or attachment has fully faded.
Someone may miss:
Your conversations.
Your routines.
Your physical closeness.
Your humor.
Your companionship.
That does not automatically mean they
believe the relationship should resume.
2) Blocking can coexist with missing
someone
In fact, someone may create more distance
precisely because continuing to see the former partner keeps those emotions
active.
This is why:
"They blocked me, therefore they feel
nothing."
is unreliable.
But the opposite is equally unreliable:
"They blocked me, therefore they
desperately want me back."
Both statements claim more certainty than
the behavior provides.
B. Reconciliation requires more than
remaining emotion
1) The important question is whether the
original relationship problems have changed
Two people can still love each other and
remain incompatible.
They can miss each other while still having
unresolved problems involving:
Trust.
Communication.
Values.
Commitment.
Lifestyle.
Boundaries.
Repeated conflict.
2) Feelings alone are not a relationship
plan
Even if you somehow learned with certainty
that your ex still misses you, you would still need to ask:
"What would actually be different if
we got back together?"
Without an answer, discovering their
feelings may provide emotional relief without solving the reason the
relationship ended.
15. How to Respond Psychologically When
You Discover You Have Been Blocked
A. Separate facts from interpretations
1) Write down what you actually know
For example:
Fact:
"My ex blocked my account."
Interpretation:
"They hate me."
Interpretation:
"They still love me."
Interpretation:
"They have someone new."
Interpretation:
"They are trying to manipulate
me."
Only the first statement is directly
established by the block.
This simple distinction can dramatically
reduce runaway interpretation.
2) Accept that some uncertainty may
remain
You may eventually learn why.
You may never learn.
Recovery cannot depend entirely on gaining
access to another person's private motives.
B. Treat the boundary as information
rather than a puzzle
1) You do not need to solve the block to
respond appropriately
The most reliable immediate message is:
Distance has been established.
Respecting that distance protects both
people from additional conflict.
2) Redirect attention toward
controllable questions
Instead of:
"Why did they block me?"
try:
"What happens to me when I keep trying
to interpret this?"
"Am I sleeping normally?"
"Am I checking through other
accounts?"
"Am I neglecting work or
friends?"
"Am I postponing my own recovery while
waiting for them to return?"
These questions move attention from an
inaccessible mind toward your own recoverable life.
16. Practical Ways to Stop Digital
Monitoring After a Breakup
A. Reduce opportunities for automatic
checking
1) Change the environment rather than
relying only on self-control
You can remove old shortcuts.
Archive conversations.
Mute mutual content if necessary.
Remove saved searches.
Move social media apps away from the home
screen.
Avoid keeping alternative accounts
specifically for monitoring.
The goal is not to pretend the relationship
never happened.
It is to make checking less automatic.
2) Expect the urge before trying to
eliminate it
You may still want to check.
That does not mean you have failed.
An urge is not an instruction.
Allowing the urge to rise and fall without
acting on it can gradually weaken the checking habit.
B. Replace monitoring with information
that actually helps recovery
1) Ask what you are hoping to discover
Before checking, ask:
"What information am I hoping to
find?"
Then ask:
"If I find it, what will I do
differently?"
Often the answer is surprisingly unclear.
2) Build a life that produces new
emotional material
Breakup recovery is not achieved only by
removing the ex.
It also requires rebuilding the space that
the relationship occupied.
Return to friends.
Exercise.
Sleep consistently.
Restart abandoned hobbies.
Create new routines.
Spend time in places that are not
associated with the former relationship.
The goal is not forced distraction.
It is gradually giving the mind new
experiences to organize around.
FAQ
Does blocking mean my ex still loves me?
Not necessarily. Someone can block because
they still feel emotionally activated, but they can also block because they
want privacy, distance, recovery, or no further contact. Blocking alone cannot
reliably establish romantic feelings.
Why did my ex block me even though I
never contacted them?
They may be regulating their own exposure
rather than responding to your behavior. Seeing your profile may be emotionally
difficult, or they may simply prefer a clean digital boundary after
relationships end.
If my ex unblocks me, should I contact
them?
Unblocking by itself is not a clear
invitation to reconnect. Direct communication is much stronger evidence of
intention than a platform setting. Consider the broader breakup context and any
previously expressed request for space.
Why do I want to check their profile
more after being blocked?
Restricted access can increase attention
and curiosity. Uncertainty can also drive repetitive checking because the mind
wants an explanation. Checking may briefly reduce anxiety while creating new
questions, reinforcing the cycle.
Is it okay to look at my ex's account
through a friend's profile?
It may satisfy curiosity temporarily, but
repeatedly bypassing a digital boundary can maintain monitoring and interfere
with emotional separation. If someone has established distance, respecting it
is generally the healthier response.
The Most Important Meaning of a Block Is
Often the One We Least Want to Accept
After a breakup, it is natural to want a
hidden explanation. We want to know whether the block means anger, love,
jealousy, regret, a new relationship, or complete indifference because each
explanation seems to tell us something about what the relationship meant. But a
block cannot reliably carry that much information. Someone may still love you
and block you. Someone may feel almost nothing and block you. Someone may be
angry, protecting themselves, setting a boundary, or simply reorganizing their
digital life. The more important reality is much simpler: at this moment,
distance has been created. Trying to bypass that distance through another
account, mutual friends, or endless interpretation may give temporary relief
while keeping the former relationship psychologically active. Closure does not
always arrive when we finally discover exactly what the other person was
thinking. Sometimes it begins when we stop requiring access to their mind in
order to move forward. The question gradually changes from "What does
their block say about their feelings for me?" to "What am I going to
do with the life that is still available to me?" That change may not
provide the dramatic answer we wanted, but it often provides something more
useful: movement.
References
Bowlby, J. (1980). Attachment and Loss:
Vol. 3. Loss: Sadness and Depression. Basic Books.
Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2016).
Attachment in Adulthood: Structure, Dynamics, and Change (2nd ed.). Guilford
Press.
Marshall, T. C. (2012). Facebook
surveillance of former romantic partners: Associations with postbreakup
recovery and personal growth. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking,
15(10), 521–526.
Sbarra, D. A., & Emery, R. E. (2005).
The emotional sequelae of nonmarital relationship dissolution: Analysis of
change and intraindividual variability over time. Personal Relationships,
12(2), 213–232.
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